How A Life Coach Can Help You

by Carol L. Meylan, MBA, LCSW

Carol holds a Master's of Business Administration from the University of Chicago and a Master's of Social Work from UCLA.  Before becoming a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Psychotherapist, she held management positions with a Fortune 100 company in San Francisco and Chicago and raised  three children who are now young adults.  She completed an Master's of Social Work Fellowship in Individual and Marital Therapy at Cedars-Sinai Department of Psychiatry and worked as a School & Family Counselor at an elementary school on the Westside.  Carol's unique combination of education and life experience helps her provide clients with the clarity and support they need to thrive in family and career life.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.”

​                   George Bernard Shaw​

TALK TO CAROL

If you are you feeling stuck in a rut or thinking...
“I don’t know how to get what I want..."  
Life Coaching can help you.

What is Life Coaching?
The International Coach Federation defines coaching as "Partnering with clients in a creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential." Leaders in the Life Coaching industry advise consumers to be careful when choosing a Life Coach saying, "Technically, anyone can call themselves a Life Coach as coaching is not a regulated industry. The quality of Life Coaches varies dramatically as a result." The most important thing to consider when choosing a Life Coach is her education, training and experience. Harvard Business Review reports that Coaching is a $1 billion a year industry. But just what is a Personal, Professional or Life Coach, and why are so many executives and individuals using them to improve their careers and create more fulfilling  lives? 

Maybe you are in the midst of a life span transition and feeling confused, stressed, anxious, or uncertain.  Maybe your friends and family are starting to get burned out with your need to brainstorm and debate options... and your confidentiality with these 'advisors' is well... non-existent. And the input from your other colleagues... leaves a bit to be desired. If this is you, it's time to take action with a professional.

Maybe you have passed the confusion stage and you already know what you want to do but lack courage, a plan, or a reality check to see if your plan can be put into action. Perhaps you know what you would like to do, like quit your job, change careers, relocate, get married,  but your actions are not supporting your goals.  You find yourself procrastinating, self-sabotaging and lacking commitment to move forward with the things you say you want. 
 
If these ideas resonate with you, working with a Therapist-Coach can get you on track to creating the life you are desiring. 
 
Here are some ways a Therapist-Coach can help you move forward in your life. We:

• Provide a thorough exploration of problems and perceived possible solutions,
• Notice personal patterns and behaviors that may be holding you back,
• Identify External Factors that are keeping you stuck in the status quo,
• Provide a rational exploration and reframing of Limiting Beliefs regarding these Factors
• Act as a sounding board because when you are working on your problems alone, it is easy to lose perspective, get discouraged or rationalize why something is impossible or taking too long,
• Help restructure negative or fearful thinking feedback loops,
• Give support in making decisions to take calculated risks to create the improvements you desire.
• Provide accountability as you take action, moving you closer to your goals. 

 
One of the first questions individuals often ask a Life Coach is: 
“Why do I hold myself back from going after what I want?”   

They may say they are “stuck” and unable to move forward with pursuing their dreams and goals.  If you identify with this situation, working with a Life Coach help you get unstuck and start moving in the direction of things you desire. 
 
A skilled coach can help you understand how your beliefs – what and how you think about a situation - can be paralyzing you.  And more importantly, your coach will work with you on unproductive thoughts and behaviors so you can free yourself from negative or all-or-nothing thinking.
 
3 Limiting Beliefs or Thoughts That May Be Holding You Back From Taking Action:

1.  Now is the not the right time to….   People often want to wait for the “perfect” moment to arise to make a change in their life or to try to do something new.   But when is there really ever a “perfect” time?  In reality, this thought usually stems from fear – fear of failure, of rejection, of not being good enough, and even fear of success.  A Life Coach will help you understand that these internal fears may be causing you to procrastinate – to avoid taking the first step towards your goal.  Instead, you may need someone to help you to evaluate your options and then pick the best moment to take action.   
2.  I need to do this perfectly...   Did you grow up absorbing explicit or implicit messages that anything less than perfect was unacceptable?  A Therapist-Coach will help you resolve this Cognitive Distortion by uncovering the basis of your perfection thinking, because striving to be perfect is an impossible goal:  perfection simply doesn’t exist.   If you make a mistake, you can assess what went wrong, make corrections and then try again.  And a Life Coach will help you build momentum toward your goal by acknowledging and celebrating every successful step along the way.
3. What if this doesn’t work out...?   Fear of failure is often tied to the need for 100% certainty of the outcome.  If you are someone who is afraid to go after a goal because of uncertainty, working with a coach may help you to stop worrying unnecessarily about the outcome.  Instead, a Coach can help you realistically evaluate the risks, develop an action plan that addresses these known risks, and then let go of anxiety about “what might happen”.  A Coach can help you challenge your fear so you can let go of your negative thoughts and worries about what is out of your control. 

I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow. When there’s that moment of “Wow, I’m not really sure I can do this!”and you push through those moments, that’s when you have a breakthrough.                             Marissa Mayer