by Carol L. Meylan, LCSW
When someone has deeply hurt us, we may hold on to anger, resentment, and a desire for revenge.
The funny thing is that the wrongdoer may be feeling just fine. We are the ones who are still experiencing the pain, hurt, sadness, and anger caused by the wrongdoer.
And we are the ones feeling depressed, sad, tense and anxious. Holding on to negative emotions, particularly anger, can eventually contribute to such health problems as
high blood pressure, greater risk of alcohol abuse, and chronic pain.
Often we hold on to anger because we view forgiveness as an act of kindness to the
person who hurt us. Yet, in reality forgiveness is an act of kindness to ourselves because it
restores our sense of peace.
If we make the choice that we will forgive the person who hurt us, we are taking back our power. When we make the choice to forgive the wrongdoer, we are letting go of the resentment, tension, and anger that we have been holding in.
We are choosing to not allow the hurt to continue to interfere in our well-being. We are releasing ourselves from the control of the wrongdoer.
And isn’t that a better way to live?
A few resources: